How to Slay a Troll (satire)

– by The Shitty Activist 

troll_thezorklibrary

Graphic: thezorklibrary.com

If you’re an activist like me, you’re often riding through the social media landscape of Facebook, Twitter and YouTube, armor agleam, broadsword in hand, embarking on dangerous quests and saving the townsfolk.

And that means you’ve probably come across your share of the most dreaded denizens of these wastelands: trolls. But what are trolls, exactly?

In storybooks, trolls are filthy, misshapen monsters who sulk under bridges and make a meal of passing goats. In the Internet’s enchanted forest, instead of making mayhem from under bridges, trolls wreak havoc from the comments section under articles, videos, and other posts.

Trolls express opinions that conflict with the person who posted the original article, viewpoint or video, and often others frequenting a particular website, page or group. When people react to a troll’s figurative shit-slinging, that’s where it gets its jollies. In fact, it’s the whole point of a troll’s miserable existence.

Let’s look at a few real life examples of classic troll behavior.

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In Defense of Crying Wolf (satire)

– by The Shitty Activist

boy_who_cried_wolf

Graphic: tes.com

Anyone who plays video games knows you can rack up more zombie kills with a machine gun than a sniper rifle. Sure, you miss most of the shots, hit a few innocent bystanders, and waste a lot of ammunition in the process, but spraying bullets at everything in sight means you’ll probably hit something eventually.

The same goes for activism. Why conduct the research and exercise the restraint needed to seek out the most appropriate targets for your campaign when you can just hurl accusations at everything you come across in hopes that one of them turns out to be legitimate?

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